Graves Diesase. I mean- come on, what a SUCKY name?! It just sounds so OMINOUS doesn't it?! Might as well call it 'disease of the boogy man' or 'welcome to the graveyard lergy'. However, despite this disease making us all so much more grouchy and irritable than we perhaps once were in our 'pre-graves' lives, I think there is something beautiful in how we perceive things once we have lived with the diagnosis for a while. It is as if we live life with more of an honest, comical and admirable 'old age pensioner attitude'.
I have found myself accepting my Graves as my friend. Be it that; I am often vigorously emptying the world into a toilet, shaking better than Elvis, or simply staring blankly at friends whilst discussing the latest episodes of The Walking Dead. And, you know what? This is OK. I have come to find some kind of equilibrium of 'peace' with this disease, which that at one time, I thought was never possible.
Hark! 'HYPER ME SILLY!' The Thyroid sings- Very well I say, for I shall simply have to clean my room! Or write a symphony! Or heck- CLIMB A MOUNTAIN! Maybe even write a blog! Because I know that tired Hypothyroid me will thank Hyperthyroid me one day for getting all the things in life done that she can't.
They say life is about balance, and never more so than for someone with an autoimmune disease. Mind you, the art of life-balance is different for all of us, and only YOU know how to balance out each day for yourself to your own capabilities, one-thing-at-a-time, no matter how slow. Just remember, a day in the life of YOU- is very difficult, and even if others don't see it, you do- so you deserve to acknowledge it.
This being my first blog, I am quite unsure of how to 'sum up' such a complex disease, and I'm sure that for anyone with Graves, this would seem a daunting prospect. Friends may cry, 'Oh no! You have GRAVES disease?! *gasp* I'm so sorry.... sorry *ahem* what actually is it?' And there you are, frozen, (probably experiencing a bit of Brain-Fog infused speech malfunction, with your mouth open and drooling at this point), and so you just shrug it off as one thing or another because its easier. When actually, in an ideal world you would reply, 'Well, How long have you got?'
After my diagnosis I was so clueless about what was going to happen to me let alone what Graves Disease actually was and how to explain it to friends and family. So I made a conscious effort to record EVERYTHING I felt, be it emotional, physical, mental or downright STRANGE. I WROTE IT DOWN. I found this curiously cathartic and I highly recommend treating yourself with an (what like to call) 'angst diary'. Just any old notepad (or even a fancy moleskine if you are so inclined), to carry around with you- so that any time when you feel like screaming 'AHHHHHHH!' hoping someone will understand, then at least you know your diary will.
So I will celebrate losing my blog virginity by 1.) pouring a lovely large glass of red and 2.) raising a toast to you- I am sorry you have had to come across my chatty blog due to such awful circumstances, but please take this moment to allow yourself to say 'Its Crap.' And allow yourself to MOAN every now and again (even by screaming into a pillow), because you ARE ALLOWED to NOT be okay with things- you are HUMAN. But just remember at the end of the day- you are the only YOU on this planet, and just because you have Graves Disease does not make you any weaker as a person. You are a fighter- every day. And never forget that.
Until next time,
'To your health!'